Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Vulnerability | Day 6

Today I am Writing to share with you Something that exposes my vulnerability. I do this So that my readers Can understand they are not alone with theirs.

Being Bullied

As a Child and Teenager I was subject to Bullying. At the time I truly thought it was a refection of who I truly was. A Reveal of my 'badness', evidence of my inner horror.
I spent most of my life depressed and feeling alone. The Bullying added to my feeling of inability.
Every time I felt on the verge of accomplishing some success, I resorted to self sabotage.
I Quit every instrument I ever played.
I quit Acting.
I quit Ballet.
I WANTED badly to Quit School.
I Almost Quit Life.
I Quit Striving for what I wanted as soon as I saw that I was about to attain Success.
I opted out.
I coped out.
I drown my sorrows.
Every time I did this, I validated how I felt about myself. I Reinforced my Loneliness, My Failures, My Sadness.

I Even Got Bullied as an Adult.
The Difference NOW is that I Know The Bullying Is not a reflection of WHO I AM.
It's a reflection of who the Bullies are.
It no longer stops me, it no longer feeds any insecurity.
I no longer Quit what I love. I no longer allow The hateful Things that have been said or done DEFINE who I really Am.

What I have Learned is...
That we can not allow our perceived psychology get in the way of our desires. We can not allow anyone to Make us Small. We are Completely Able to determine our own self worth.
When You Believe a Bully, You do The Greatest harm to yourself.
ONLY One person can get in your way...YOU.
My Bullies, Your Bullies, Are Lost, Sad, And Everyday they wish they were you. 
Your Bullies are Your Biggest Fans.

I Also Learned That...
We are Bigger and More beautiful, Smart and Love able than We can even Imagine.
And If you Haven't Already, Its Time to Forgive Yourself.

Here's To Our Finest Life,
Coach Tara
The Mind ReSet Coach